Iiiiii ohhhhh I’m Still Alive

11 May


Despite rumors to the contrary, I am, indeed, still alive. Just a little overwhelmed with shit right now.

If you believe in some sort of god or cosmic thingamadood (I know most people who read this blog don’t, but wev), please throw some good thoughts up for me? Nothing horrible, tragic, or terrible has happened, but it seems like I just cannot.catch.a.break.

48 Responses to “Iiiiii ohhhhh I’m Still Alive”

  1. M. Bouffant 05.11.2011 at 18:30 #

    Do not let the bastards grind you down.

    It’ll be better eventually.

    (Best thoughts available.)

  2. herr doktor bimler 05.11.2011 at 18:31 #

    How about if I drink a beer for you?

  3. truculentandunreliable 05.11.2011 at 18:32 #

    How about five or six?

  4. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.11.2011 at 18:32 #

    but it seems like I just cannot.catch.a.break.

    Hey now. Stop working my side of the street.

    Anyways, feel free to stop by the Empire and vent. I will certainly commiserate.

  5. herr doktor bimler 05.11.2011 at 18:33 #

    Musics for T&U.

  6. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© 05.11.2011 at 18:54 #

    I volunteer to drink an entire bottle of wine!


  7. Larkspur 05.11.2011 at 19:54 #

    I volunteer to hold Thunder’s hair back during the barfing phase, should such an unfortunate event come to pass, i.e., if Thunder is a lightweight.

    Hmm. Times like these call for burnt sacrifices. Okay, I am off to forage for vegetables!

  8. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© 05.11.2011 at 21:13 #

    I got a haircut Saturday. No need to hold anything back…

  9. Another Kiwi 05.11.2011 at 22:10 #

    Granny likes to borrow, a special kind of magic where the user enters the mind of an animal and can see through the eyes of that animal. As this technique renders her own body totally dormant, she now wears a small cardboard sign with the words “I Aten’t Dead” on it to avoid unnecessary embarrassment.
    Good luck

  10. Kristjan Wager 05.12.2011 at 03:00 #

    I hope it gets better quickly, and you’ll get some time for yourself

  11. nedbeaumontjr 05.12.2011 at 05:20 #

    I’ll think happy thought about you as I’m cursing at random strangers.

  12. John Revolta 05.12.2011 at 06:07 #

    Good to hear from you, kiddo.

    My postmodern sense of ironic detachment was slipping like a bad combover.

    It’ll get better.

  13. Larkspur 05.12.2011 at 10:28 #

    John Revolta – or anyone else – perhaps our T&U needs a snappy, effervescent, possibly Celtic-inspired song* to cheer her up. I have done some of the preliminary work for you in the basic consonance department.

    EXHIBIT A: liable, pliable, viable, undeniable, justifiable, unverifiable

    EXHIBIT B: succulent (the best), plus supplicant, subsequent, benevolent, insolent, flatulent (don’t use that one), violent, turbulent, excellent, malevolent, opulent

    You’re welcome. I am happy to be of service.

    *Limericks, epic poems, or tasteful hip-hoppy confections would also be acceptable.

  14. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.12.2011 at 12:06 #

    Maybe we should just unload a Zardoz over here.

  15. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.12.2011 at 13:04 #


  16. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.12.2011 at 13:14 #


  17. Whale Chowder 05.12.2011 at 13:29 #

    She’s Truculent and Unreliable
    Nonetheless her charm’s undeniable
    For her, drink a beer
    Till you fall on your ear
    In the faint hope she’ll become more pliable

    No. It doesn’t make sense, I’m no Actor212.

  18. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.12.2011 at 13:30 #

    Truculent and Unreliable
    something something something not liable.

  19. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.12.2011 at 13:31 #

    I’m no Actor212.

    wait. YOU’RE Tintin?

  20. exford legs 05.12.2011 at 13:37 #

    It doesn’t make sense, I’m no Actor212.


  21. exford legs 05.12.2011 at 13:38 #

    You’re fucking kidding, ZRM.

  22. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.12.2011 at 13:49 #


  23. exford legs 05.12.2011 at 13:52 #


  24. Whale Chowder 05.12.2011 at 14:17 #

    I’m NOT EITHER tintin. Nor am I Teh Donalde nor Carl Solonen. I’m not Donald Trump neever.

    Here’s a sercret: I’m also not a delicious creamy soup made from whales. Shhh! Don’t tell!

  25. B^4 05.12.2011 at 14:54 #

    Sounds like someone needs a cookie. A gluten free cookie. Better yet, a pitcher of gluten free margaritas.

    I am off to forage for vegetables!

    What are you looking for? I’ve been subsisting largely on nettles lately. Creamed nettles, served on toast, topped with a fried egg… c’est fantastique!

  26. Dragon-King Wangchuck 05.12.2011 at 15:03 #

    Hope stuff clears up soon.

    If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put T&U together.

  27. John Revolta 05.12.2011 at 16:27 #

    Oh, there once was a girl who was succulent
    And acerbic and salty and succulent
    When approached propositionally
    She would dither conditionally
    And pretend not to know what the fuckyoumeant.

  28. John Revolta 05.12.2011 at 16:29 #

    Ack. “Truculent” in the first line.

    Whack-fol-the daddy-o, also.

  29. Another Kiwi 05.12.2011 at 16:49 #

    In Breaking News:
    The search for master criminal Tin Tin/Whale Chowder continues.
    Initially leads led to a Lead Factory in Leeds. But that investigation went down like a flotation device made of inappropriate materials.
    Secondary leads led to seconds factory in Dublin but the clues gathered there were a fraction of minute.
    However the Seal commander, known only as “Sammy” remains upbeat. “The guys have all got bukkits so we are expecting some shrimp, some squid and maybe a crabs, although they are all clean living soldiers”
    By way of clarification he added “Arf arf arf”

  30. Whale Chowder 05.12.2011 at 17:02 #

    Oh, there once was a girl who was succulent

    *snaps fingers in appreciation*

    I’ll play bass at yer next poetry slam.

  31. Klaus 05.12.2011 at 19:41 #

    Think I’ve had that beer or six for you…

    Good to hear that you’re alive, alive oh.

  32. Sirius Lunacy 05.13.2011 at 00:18 #

    perhaps our T&U needs a snappy, effervescent, possibly Celtic-inspired song* to cheer her up.

    Something like this perhaps?

    Not Celtic-inspired, but this one gets right down to the real Nitty Gritty.

    I heven’t gotten around to downing that six pack for you yet, but the Piano Has Been Drinking.

  33. Larkspur 05.13.2011 at 00:25 #

    Ooh, bless your heart, J-Rev, that was brilliant. If only I had editing privileges, I’d put the first comment right. Luckily it’s an obvious and easy fix.

    All of y’all are so charming. It almost makes me feel like starting my own blog and then bailing, mysteriously. Almost. Almost.

    Nah. Not even close. Not when I can scamper through the webz and glom onto the blogs of others. Your hearts? Please allow me to bless all of them.

  34. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.13.2011 at 15:13 #

    starting my own blog and then bailing, mysteriously.

    everyone does it eventually.

  35. Substance McGravitas 05.14.2011 at 01:47 #

    Pictures of Callista Gingrich cheer EVERYBODY up.

  36. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.14.2011 at 11:17 #

    But also destroy Blogger.

  37. Larkspur 05.14.2011 at 13:14 #

    I was given to understand that the force bloggeur occurred when the sudden proliferation of Callista Gingrich simulacra caused Ann Althouse to fulminate and screeee, après quoi,le déluge, and that is why I ordered the Franzia airlift. Jeez, I hope it was worth all the trees that perished to make those boxes.

  38. Sirius Lunacy 05.14.2011 at 16:00 #

    I was given to understand that the force bloggeur occurred when the sudden proliferation of Callista Gingrich simulacra…

    And I thought that Blogger was just being Truculent & Unreliable.

  39. Looch 05.14.2011 at 18:06 #

    Jeezus! All these people! I know them! THEY ARE FOLLOWING ME AROUND!

  40. Dragon-King Wangchuck 05.15.2011 at 02:37 #

    Wait. Are we supposed to be poetically artistic here or something like that? wev.

    I’m not even angry.
    I’m being so sincere right now.
    Even though you broke my heart,
    and vanished.
    And made no new posts,
    or even snarky comments at that place.
    We all want to know what’s up.
    We’re concerned about you!
    And we want to know
    about your shoplifting pal,
    but you had to go (Galt?),
    you’re a hard to find gal.
    So I’m mad and I wrote
    this cheesy musical note
    for T&U, who is
    still alive.

  41. zombie rotten mcdonald 05.15.2011 at 16:34 #

    Iiiiii ohhhhh I’m Still Alive

    Obviously, you are not on Blooger.

  42. Dragon-King Wangchuck 05.16.2011 at 11:06 #

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Are you kidding me? It’s been over 24 hours AND you let the zombie in ahead of me. That’s it, no moar Jonathon Coulton inspired tributes for you.

  43. truculentandunreliable 05.16.2011 at 12:43 #

    Awwwww I love you guys so much!

  44. truculentandunreliable 05.16.2011 at 12:45 #

    BTW, shoplifting pal was caught stealing coffee from the kiosk in the hospital and STILL WASN’T FIRED.

  45. Dragon-King Wangchuck 05.16.2011 at 13:08 #

    Who steals coffee?

    OMFG! Who steals hospital coffee?!?!

  46. truculentandunreliable 05.16.2011 at 13:13 #

    I know, right? Apparently, the big boss actually called the kiosk manager at home to apologize. WTF???

  47. Whale Chowder 05.16.2011 at 14:49 #

    She has pictures of the Big Boss doing…something.

  48. Another Kiwi 05.16.2011 at 15:43 #

    Stealing hospital coffee? That’s CIA, man. That’s the agency.

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