Oh, Good God

31 Mar

“Wait, there are dinosaur footprints in that park? How did they get there? Why didn’t the rain wash them away?”

How can you have grown up and gone to public school in the 80s and 90s and not know what the fuck a fossil is?

I wonder if they have one of those dinosaur tapes my little brothers always watched up on YouTube…

Oooh, like this one!

On second thought, it’s probably too advanced.

UPDATE: If you do not stop talking about how fat you are and your diet tea, you will know what a fossil is from personal experience.

Because I will turn you into one.

That means I’ll kill you.

LOOK IT UP IN THE DICTIONARY!

 

UPDATE UPDATE: I know I’m a whiner and this probably gets old. But srsly. Imagine having a young Sarah Palin in your office. Every. Other. Day. Except. Fridays. And. Sometimes. Tuesdays.

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16 Responses to “Oh, Good God”

  1. Dragon-King Wangchuck 03.31.2011 at 14:53 #

    Related.

  2. nedbeaumontjr 03.31.2011 at 14:55 #

    Why didn’t the rain wash them away?

    Is she also impressed by permanent tattoos?

  3. M. Bouffant 03.31.2011 at 14:58 #

    There’ve been more than a few bosses I would have, well …
    but I don’t think I’ve ever depised a fellow flunky as much as you do this poor woman.

  4. truculentandunreliable 03.31.2011 at 15:04 #

    Bouffant, I actually feel a little guilty about it. I mean, she’s really pathetic.

    Then I remember the fact that her assholery toward me during Canklegate and how I could really have gotten hurt due to her negligence and bitchery despite the fact that she claimed that she was helping, and I don’t feel so bad.

    Also, she’s a racist. Too.

  5. B^4 03.31.2011 at 15:04 #

    How can you have grown up and gone to public school in the 80s and 90s and not know what the fuck a fossil is?

    Maybe she’s smarter than you think and her dinosaur footprint question dealt with extant maniraptoran theropods.

    To make you feel better, Thunder’s got some lovely pictures of extant maniraptoran theropods.

  6. truculentandunreliable 03.31.2011 at 15:15 #

    B^4. Always a glass half-full kinda guy.

    I should have asked her if that’s what she meant, actually.

  7. vacuumslayer 03.31.2011 at 15:18 #

    No, she sounds pretty damn annoying.

    And when the dinosaur “makes the forest shake,” it looks like he’s…tewting.

  8. truculentandunreliable 03.31.2011 at 15:38 #

    Ha! I never noticed that.

    I hadn’t seen this in about 15-20 years, but in the interim, it would get stuck in my head. Constantly. Like it is now. Fuck.

  9. B^4 03.31.2011 at 15:40 #

    Heh… making the forest shake…

  10. John Revolta 03.31.2011 at 16:28 #

    And yet………you complain when she goes home early!?!!?

  11. Smut Clyde 03.31.2011 at 17:53 #

    All those … moments will be lost in time, like fossilised dinosaur footprints…in rain.

  12. zombie rotten mcdonald 03.31.2011 at 19:02 #

    I’m fat. Look how fat I am!

  13. jim 03.31.2011 at 21:16 #

    Yes, because surely rain would easily wash away an impression made in firm clay by a 15 tonne reptile.

    We share a planet with the nimrods we have, not the nimrods we WISH we had.

  14. smut clyde 04.01.2011 at 06:33 #

    Someday a real rain will come and wash all these dinosaur footprints off the streets.

  15. truculentandunreliable 04.01.2011 at 07:20 #

    JR, I really wouldn’t care if I didn’t have to cover for her. It’s gotten to the point that people from other offices who interact with her regularly say “Is ____ here today?” when they call.

    DKW, I just watched that vid. Fucking funny.

    Smut, my next Bulwer-Lytton submission will include the sentence, “And in a moment, she was gone, like so many fossilized footprints in the rain.”

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