Time to be a Cranky Pedant

1 Mar

“Koch” is pronounced “coke,” not “cock” or “Koch” as in “Ed Koch”. I realize this greatly reduces the number of excellent jokes that can be made, so if you would like to continue using the word “Koch” as substitute for “cock” in jokes, feel free.

As someone who lived in the same state with the rat bastards for 24 years, I felt that I should do what I could to ensure that any mocking of those fuckface douchebags’ name accurately reflected its pronunciation.

14 Responses to “Time to be a Cranky Pedant”

  1. zombie rotten mcdonald 03.01.2011 at 15:28 #

    as a denizen of the State that they have declared ground zero for their current tactics of destruction, I am refusing to pronounce it any way other than “Kock”; even knowing full well the ‘proper’ pronunciation. Of course, I also spell it that way, just to be humorless and obnoxious about it.

    Actually, though, living in a region with many Germanic descendents bearing that name, it is not unusual to hear it pronounced “cock”. A local blues musician, for example, Greg Koch, pronounces it that way. I would guess it doesn’t have the same impact in German.

    I also suspect The Kock Brothers are, like so many other libertarians, sniveling over-sensitive wieners.

  2. Substance McGravitas 03.01.2011 at 15:40 #

    The Koch comes from Dutch heritage, which is pretty close to German in pronunciation. The assonance – HAH – is certainly with “cock” although the “ch” is sadly a kind of back-of-the-throat lizardese noise rather than the oh-so-satisfying “k” sound.

    So yeah, they pronounce it “coke” because “Cohkh” is pretty embarrassing.

    See also Bruce Cockburn.

  3. B^4 03.01.2011 at 16:13 #

    Well, Koch Whore is still a good pejorative.

    She’s cranky!
    She’s cankly!
    Her big hands,
    Will spank me.

  4. Banana Cake Photo 03.01.2011 at 17:29 #

    I’m getting in the way!

    Oooga booga!

  5. zombie rotten mcdonald 03.01.2011 at 17:58 #

    they are still pretty whiny for billionaires.

    Look, if I had billions of dollars, you could call me “Goatse” for all I would care.

  6. zombie rotten mcdonald 03.01.2011 at 18:44 #

    Along those lines, digby reports on a WSJ op-ed from a Kock:


    Pretty whiny for a superman.

  7. Larkspur 03.01.2011 at 19:58 #

    I used to work at a pharmacy, so I and my co-workers were always calling out names as prescriptions were ready, or if the pharmacist had a question (this predated HIPAA privacy rules by, like, eons). Of course we didn’t always know how to pronounce the names, so one day when the prescription of one Mrs. Fuchs was ready, my co-worker paused, then shrugged, then called out “Mrs. Fucks!” Mrs. Fuchs was grumpy about it. “FYOOSH!” she hissed. I think I would have just simpled things up by changing my name to Fuschia.

  8. zombie rotten mcdonald 03.01.2011 at 20:00 #

    Or perhaps she should have insisted on her hyphenated name. Mrs Fuchs-Lauter.

  9. truculentandunreliable 03.01.2011 at 20:02 #

    B^4, that brought a fucking tear to my mannish eye.

    Larkspur–LOL. I have one of those weird Germanic names that makes no sense, but at least it’s not anything dirty if you mis-pronounce it.

  10. truculentandunreliable 03.01.2011 at 20:03 #

    Also, that’s my dentist’s name.

  11. Adorable Girlfriend 03.01.2011 at 23:57 #

    Douchebag is not good enough.

    I prefer “cum infected piss-bubble douchenozzles.”

    And fuck Koch and anyone who looks like him.

  12. Another Kiwi 03.02.2011 at 04:19 #

    Ha ha banana cake photo, who’s the tough guy now! Fuching sponge more like it!!!

  13. ifthethunderdontgetya 03.02.2011 at 12:41 #

    I will happily use the pronunciation “COKE” when referring to “Koch whores” such as Scott Walker (or Ohio Goobernator John Kasich).

    However, when it is time to refer to “Koch suckers” (such as Scott Walker and John Kasich), then the alternative pronunciation springs into place.

  14. Johnny Pez 03.05.2011 at 06:23 #

    I also know the proper pronunciation of Boehner. I just never use it.

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