Take THAT, Urchins!

20 Feb

Via Fired Up! Missouri, state senator Jane Cunningham (R–But Their Tiny Fingers Are So Good at Weaving) has sponsored a piece of legislation that guts child labor laws in the state of Missouri:

It eliminates the prohibition on employment of children under age fourteen. Restrictions on the number of hours and restrictions on when a child may work during the day are also removed. It also repeals the requirement that a child ages fourteen or fifteen obtain a work certificate or work permit in order to be employed. Children under sixteen will also be allowed to work in any capacity in a motel, resort or hotel where sleeping accommodations are furnished. It also removes the authority of the director of the Division of Labor Standards to inspect employers who employ children and to require them to keep certain records for children they employ.

Presumably, the legislation is to prevent all those government raids of babysitting services and lemonade stands that have crushed the entrepreneurial spirits of so many young Missourians.

Between her and Cynthia “Hunger is a Great Motivator” Davis, the children of Missouri will learn the satisfaction that comes after a hard day’s work of cleaning hotel toilets. Also, the little fuckers can start buying their own gruel and stop bugging the rest of us for some more.

8 Responses to “Take THAT, Urchins!”

  1. Another Kiwi from the future 02.20.2011 at 17:46 #

    No one could have foreseen the child labour camps that resulted from the law change. The citizens of the Missouri Organisation for Financial Oversight (MOFO) will hold and extraordinary meeting to debate the DOUBLING of the Christmas gruel rations in the camps.

  2. jim 02.20.2011 at 23:10 #

    At last! Let us hope that these brave few who dare oppose the socialist juggernaut of Big Urchin can turn back the impending Progressive Kaliphate in time.

    This may be the Waterloo of anti-elite-elitist Liberal Fascism in the US of A. The clarion call has gone out to the loonies: GATHER. YOUR. WAR-SCOOTERS. They have a dream: America can become the Balkanized jigsaw of feudal warlords that the Founding Fathers intended!

  3. Whale Chowder 02.20.2011 at 23:33 #

    Finally, this frees up the underage sex trafficing business idea I had so many years ago that were thwarted by those pesky youth work rules! Mwahahaha!

  4. truculentandunreliable 02.20.2011 at 23:55 #

    I *knew* Whale Chowder worked for Planned Parenthood!

  5. Whale Chowder 02.21.2011 at 13:46 #

    Planned Parenthood is just a lucky recipient of my baby mama production scheme.

  6. B^4 02.22.2011 at 13:59 #

    If the kids are in a maquiladora, they’ll finally stay off mah damn lawn!


  1. I Live in a Shithole « Acoustic! Kitty! - 03.09.2011

    […] Introduced a bill to curtail child labor laws. I have already discussed this (and Angry Black Lady totes stole my bit, because you KNOW I was the only one who thought of Oliver […]

  2. Show Me Dumbassery « Acoustic! Kitty! - 04.01.2011

    […] Apr I think we’ve already established that I live in a shithole, […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: