LOL @ Yr GOP, America

22 Jan

Was it the unwashable stank of sanity? The magic underwear (like Jesus-eaters have room to talk)? The “open marriage”? Because seriously, South Carolina Republicans, I just cannot believe that you think that Newt Gingrich has the ability to “beat Obama,” as you mouth-breathing, sociopath-worshiping, dogwhistle-blowing fucks like to say.

Furthermore, I can’t believe that anybody, even conservatives, think that a guy who made shutting down the fucking government a thing* and was forced to resign as Speaker of the House in disgrace is a good choice for President.

Okay, I guess I can, but I really would rather not.

*My favorite (opposite day!) thing about Republicans is their strategy of electing people who make it their mission to ensure that the government doesn’t function. I’m not sure what these people think they’re going to do when the baby’s small enough to be drowned in the bathtub, but I’d imagine it has something to do with sucking on the teat of the kleptocrats who got them into office in the first place. Good luck with that, kiddos. Most of you are destined for the Thunderdome like the rest of us where being a bombastic prick whose only skill is to fuck shit up won’t get you very far.

5 Responses to “LOL @ Yr GOP, America”

  1. Substance McGravitas 01.22.2012 at 15:46 #

    South Carolina Republicans

    Just the ones who vote in the primary, that is, the voter pissed off enough to get somebody who will say the worst thing possible about his opponents.

  2. Big Bad Bald Bastard 01.22.2012 at 16:58 #

    South Carolina Republicans

    You know, dumbfucks! It’s been years since I’ve been down there, but they are still fighting the war. My impression of the state is that it’s all kudzu, dingy video poker parlors by the roadside, and “lingere show” porn billboards. It’s the Land of Salvation and Sin, the Land that Time Forgot.

    My favorite (opposite day!) thing about Republicans is their strategy of electing people who make it their mission to ensure that the government doesn’t function.

    “Government is the problem, and I want to be part of the problem!”

  3. Substance McGravitas 01.22.2012 at 17:09 #

    Even the liberal Josh Marshall and so on.

  4. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© 01.22.2012 at 21:33 #

    Nice. Josh was able to avoid quoting Pig Newton’s “food stamp President” label.

    Look out, Chuck Todd Toad!
    ~

  5. truculentandunreliable 01.23.2012 at 10:25 #

    I’m obviously putting too much stock in the whole “South Carolina is the predictor of who the nominee will be” thing. It’s just…whaaaa????

    Ahahahahaha at the idea of Newt issuing an epic smackdown in the debates.

    Again, I have to go back to Krugman: Gingrich is a dumb person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.

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